Ai, yai, yai!
This week is as close as I’ve come to crying “uncle” during the selfie project. No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to capture my dear friend Dianne in a satisfactory way. Sometimes only the eyes and nose pass muster, sometimes it’s the mouth that is okay. And every single time I’ve struggled with the overall shape of her face, partially because in the photo her mouth is open, making her chin look unusually elongated.
This is the inherent danger of drawing people I know. I so desperately want to get it right.
I can’t even tell you how much courage it’s taking for me to post these images, especially since I know many of you who read this blog know Dianne personally and will immediately see my missteps. However, I think it’s important to highlight that rough patches are a given. They test our resilience and are also the secret sauce that moves our work forward.
The picture she sent was not meant as a selfie submission, but rather to share the beautiful hat her granddaughter had made for her for Mother’s Day. She looked so tickled and proud that I asked if it would be okay to use the image for this project and she graciously said yes.
The result is I have felt doubly responsible to both Dianne and her granddaughter, so my shortcomings and inability to do them justice cuts deeply. Four unsuccessful iterations later, each new version cringe-worthy in its own way (I’m not even going to share the 3rd attempt with you), the process has left me feeling more than a bit beaten up.
To say I’ve been frustrated doesn’t come close. The next best (and only) step was to just shake it off and to start completely from scratch, this time using a bamboo reed pen and a bottle of ink. No expectations, just the joy of line and the buttery feel of the pen as it glides across the paper.
This latest may not be successful in a formal way, but it’s not a total loss because I can finally see the slightest glimmer of my friend Dianne as I know her peeking through. Even more importantly, I am going to celebrate the fact that this little drawing represents a fight survived. Not one that was won, or even one that was escaped without a few mental scrapes and bruises. Rather, it marks a battle that honors persistence and stands as a reminder that the real reward is in the process, not the result. That realization in itself is more than enough for today.
Note: Austin Kleon’s latest book Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad is a welcome shot of inspiration for navigating minor rough patches like the one outlined above, or for finding ways to keep your creativity intact through bigger challenges, such as the uncharted territory of a pandemic.
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On the flip side, there was also a bit of a win last week.
I’m quite happy with this new little house – an offshoot inspired by the Shelter in Place project. It’s an expression of the dichotomy of feeling both hemmed in and safe at home – one I know we’re all experiencing these days.
Cocooned ©2020 Elizabeth Fram, 20 x 11 x 14 inches, Wrapped-resist dye on silk with foraged branches
Oh, you are courageous AND determined. All of them have some bit of our dear friend in them but who could ever capture her true spirit as it is so multi-dimensional and vibrant. But I admire you both for trying and for being critical of your efforts. The Shelter in Place exhibit is amazing, especially your piece. Thank you!
Hey John, you have no idea how much I appreciate your comment! Now, back to work…
You are courageous!! I appreciate your willingness to share and keep reminding us that nothing is really a “mistake”… we learn from all of what we do. I quite like the red ink.. something elemental about that. Thanks for sharing! And we did love the Shelter in Place exhibit at Highland.. the maps in your house especially resonated with me! xoxoxox
PS In Busman’s Honeymoon by Dorothy L Sayers (an all time favorite of mine) a character discusses a portrait of a lady, & says nothing but a rapidly moving film could really capture her bright spirit. It makes me think of Dianne’s twinkling eyes and ready smile. Any single moment in time might not capture her!
Thanks for the encouragement – I love that quote from the Sayer’s book, Liz – absolutely appropriate to Dianne’s spirit! And I’m glad the maps resonated with you, most of us are feeling the distance of our loved ones very acutely.
I agree with previous comments. You are very brave to expose this series of drawings and your dissatisfaction with them. It’s a learning experience for us all. I can see a bit of Dianne in each drawing, but also see why you weren’t happy with the results. Have you considered the fault may not lie in your drawing abilities, but in the photograph itself. Perhaps that image did not capture her very well and those deficits are simply showing up in your work. Perhaps you could get a better photo from Dianne and see if things go any better! Just a thought. I admire your persistence and self discipline!!
That is such a kind outlook Judy…I’ll take it! Seriously, though, I think there is an element of truth to your point and, if she agrees, think it would be a good exercise to try again with a different shot. Regardless, it’s been a good lesson in not taking one’s work, or one’s self, too seriously.
I don’t think you are as far off as you think you are with Dianne’s portrait. Even if you hadn’t told me who the subject in you portrait was I would have guessed Dianne! Thanks for sharing your progress and frustrations. Reading about your process and feelings validates all of our frustrations and feeling when something doesn’t turn out the way we envision it should. Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing this project. I love watching it unfold!
Thanks for this heartening note Michelle. You definitely got the point of the post – nobody has only successes, and in fact, the failures are what push us forward. We’re all in the same boat.
I agree with Michelle, I don’t think you are far off either. I like the second one and the red one. I especially love the wider smile in the red one, it even looks like there is a little more smile in her eyes. You can see how proud she is to wear something her granddaughter made. This portrait of your friend shows her pride and shows how much you care about getting it right, but it doesn’t have to be perfect. It tells a story.
I appreciate these kind words Donna. Especially glad you saw a bit of the sparkle that is the essence of Dianne. Thanks for the encouragement!